Notes in the Margins

The Etc...

2012-01-26T14:16:00.006-05:00

Remember this post, where I said I was going to Uganda to "visit Kelsey, volunteer with Sixty Feet, etc"? It's finally time to tell you what the "etc" is...

We're trying to adopt from Uganda! Yes, we are getting back on the adoption train for another trip around the world. We are going to try to bring home two children from Uganda, bringing us to a crazy five kids five and under!

At this point, we can't share many details at all. Uganda's process is quite different from Rwanda's, and so requires a great deal of sensitivity. There are also a lot of variables here, and things could work out totally differently than we hope they will.

We really feel that God is leading us down this road. While almost everything has been different this time around, one thing remains the same: God still desires to put the lonely in families, and it seems that once again He is allowing us to join Him in His work.

We made the official decision to adopt from Uganda in October, and have been working on it since. In fact, when I did the Goodbye, 2011 post and said we'd been fingerprinted "about four" times and had updated our home study, what I should have said is that we had been fingerprinted SIX times and updated our home study TWICE. And since then, we've been fingerprinted once more. Phew. Glad to get that off my chest. :) Anyway, we got our I-171H approval yesterday!

I'll share more about the fund-raising parts of this journey later (I know you're waiting for that fascinating post with bated breath)--this adoption will be about half the cost of Laina's, which is great. We won't be able to get grants this time (almost positively), which is not great.

We always knew we'd adopt again. We didn't know what it would look like, or when it would be, but we know the One who writes our story. And He is good. We hope and pray for a smooth, quick, easy adoption this time around (please!!), but we trust His hand regardless. We've got our eyes open this time--no rosy glasses here--which makes it a scarier step to take. But we also have Laina here now, in our arms and our hearts, reminding us daily that adoption, though it is so hard and painful, is also beautiful, redeeming, a blessing. We can't wait to have two more of those sweet blessings under our roof.

p.s. I haven't forgotten that I have still not blogged about much of my UG trip. I'll remedy that in the coming weeks--for my own remembrance if nothing else!

Bedtime

2012-01-25T20:02:00.003-05:00

Tonight as I was putting the boys down to sleep, they started asking about heaven. We talk about heaven a lot in this house, but tonight I got some interesting thoughts from them. I told them to think of their favorite place, and that heaven was better than that.

Iain: I would like to have a peaceful, quiet place. Like a garden, with fruit trees. And there wouldn't be any troubles. There would just be one trouble: the grass grows too high.

Cory: I have three. First is Panda (Panda Express, the Chinese restaurant). Next is the zoo. And last is a place all by myself where I can talk and no one would be there b'sept me.

Me: What would you talk about?

Cory: I would rest because I would be so talked out.

Me: But what would you say if no one was there to listen?

Cory: I don't know. And I would like to be in the garden with Iain. And we'd each have a home there, with a grass floor. And a weed. And the weed would grow and grow.

Then I was singing A Mighty Fortress is Our God (love that hymn). We got to the line, "And He must win the battle," and Cory asked who must win the battle?

Me: Jesus.

Cory: What if He doesn't?

Me: He will, because He's God. He's the strongest.

Cory: But what if someone kills Him? Then that would be okay because He already died!

Me: And then what happened?

Cory: He rose from the dead.

Me: And He will never die again.

Cory: But what if He's sleeping and someone kills Him?

Me: Well, the Bible says Jesus never sleeps and never gets tired.

Cory: Will we get tired when we are in heaven?

Me: I don't know. I kind of hope so because I like to sleep!

Iain: But there's no night there, y'know.

Cory: Maybe Jesus will change you so you don't like to sleep.

I love those boys. Bedtime can be fun. Although it ended with me saying, "Stop doing headstands, Cory, and go to sleep!"

Cory is Four!

2012-01-22T14:40:00.009-05:00

(making the traditional birthday banner)

Seriously, the jump from three to four is a tough one for me. Three is still kind of toddler, whereas four, four is kid. Cory has been counting down the days (minutes, seconds) to this birthday since Iain turned five in September, and Cory couldn't figure out why he had to wait so long for his birthday.

But despite the long wait (him) and the wanting to stop time (me), the birthday arrived. Cory is four.

(Cory on the day he was born)

(he's one!)

(he's two!)

(he's three!)

(he's FOUR!)

Cory requested a dinosaur birthday party, so we played dinosaur tag, had a dino-feet relay (yeah, those craft foam feet fell apart three steps in), and dug for dinosaur fossils in the sandbox. There was a dinosaur bone cake (SO easy!), and lots of raw peppers to eat. Which has nothing to do with dinosaurs. Cory just likes them. Lots of friends and family came to celebrate our big boy.

Dear Cory,

Happy birthday, big boy! I can't believe you're already four. You are an outside-playing, dirt-digging, roly-poly-catching boy these days (when it's not freezing out). You have recently learned to climb trees, and get so high that it makes me just a tiny bit nervous. Iain says he needs to go to your tree-climbing school.

Speaking of school, you have been doing so great in the preschool work we've done this year. You know how to read words like man, cat, mat, etc. You are so stinkin' smart. Sometimes, without looking up from your coloring, you call out the answers to Iain's math problems. You are logical and you think deeply about...everything. You have a great vocabulary and you are creative (a few nights ago, you told us that "the sunset appears to be volcanos in the distance.").

You are so sweet to Laina, and you love playing with Iain. You're a good brother. If Laina's around, you hug her, and if Iain is not around, you can't do anything until you find him. You love your family, and you talk about what Brannons do and don't do, all the time.

We love you, Cory. May you grow in wisdom and stature this year, and in favor with God and man.

Words by Cory:

What is your favorite thing to do? "Watch a movie, and playmobil is the next."

What's your favorite food? "Peppers."

What do you want to be when you grow up? "I don't know. I don't have any guesses."

What do you like to learn in school? "Learning my letters."

What's your favorite color? "Green!"

And he's done. Back to playing playmobil.

Christmas 2011

2012-01-17T15:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I am so far behind in my keeping of the blog that it's starting to stress me out. So--Christmas 2011, the bullet-point version:

So glad to have FIVE stockings on our mantle this year.

--We spent Christmas in Florida, first with my side of the family, and then with Jeremy's.

--It was special to go to our old church for the Christmas Eve service this year.

--I got to spend some sweet time with my dear friend Lauren.

--Poor Cory was throwing up sick on Christmas Eve, so he missed Christmas Eve dinner and the present exchange my family does after (this year: socks). And since I was mostly upstairs taking care of him, I couldn't get the remaining non-sickies dressed in their Christmas outfits. Oh well. I had fun making them, at least.

The sock exchange. Nan got a puppy in a sock--a real one. My family is so weird.

--The boys got soccer jerseys from Kelsey in Uganda. They LOVE them.

--I think I expected that having Laina home would be really huge. I mean, having her missing from our Christmas for the two years that we waited for her was so intense in a bad way. I figured it would be equally intense, but in a good way this year. But it wasn't intense. It was sweet and such a relief. It was just...right. Finally right.

Laina loved opening presents!

--The boys had a great time with the cousins, as usual.

Poor little sickie.

--Papa bought some building kits that were a hit. Iain made a school bus, Cory made a school locker, and then they both made a jewelry box for Laina.

--Before we headed down to Grammy and Papa's, we had to hit the go-cart track. Since Iain is five, he can finally drive by himself, which is a huge deal. He was actually quite good, and a bit competitive, running Cory and Haylee off the road so he could win. Laina had her first ride, too, and loved it.

--Christmas, 2011. The End.

Goodbye, 2011

2011-12-31T20:16:00.004-05:00

In keeping with my going-on-three-years tradition of recapping the year, let me wish 2011 adieu with the following. In 2011...

:: we finally brought Laina home! On the night of May 19th, for the first time, we had all three of our children under one roof.

:: Jeremy became an elder at our church

:: Iain became a full-fledged reader

:: we went to FL five times, TN twice, PA once, and AL several times

:: we had or were guests for 25 of the 52 weeks.

:: Iain turned five, Cory turned three, and Laina turned one

:: I was on a panel with other elders' wives, about marriage. Fun!

:: We started homeschooling

:: Laina learned to walk (and sit, and crawl, and speak...)

:: We camped out three times. Well, once we stayed at a hotel and spent the days at the campsite. Can you blame us? We had been home with Laina for a week!

:: I went to the Created for Care adoption retreat and loved it

:: we got fingerprinted, what, four times?

:: we continued (and are continuing) our work with Kids' Church. I got to meet with the director of Northland Church's kids program--what a blessing!

:: we updated our home study and did two post placement reports (and the adoption paperwork just keeps coming!)

:: we spent time in Rwanda, Ethiopia, and Uganda!

:: I wrote. Not as much as I wanted to.

:: Jeremy played drums. Way less than he wanted to.

:: I passed off the moms' play group, along with other church-related responsibilities, and took on a very few extra

:: Jeremy did several shows with OakTree

:: we were away from our boys for 23 long days

:: and I was away from all three kids for eight more

:: our church threw a baby shower for Laina :)

:: we led a small group

:: I spoke at our women's group

:: we had a baby celebration in Orlando with the Access218 Band

:: the boys started going to Timothy (co-op thing)

:: we haven't slept nearly enough

:: I fell in love with the music of Sara Groves

:: we felt the massive relief of not waiting anymore

:: Jeremy worked a lot :)

:: we did a lot of the work that comes after you come home and the adoption is over. The journey is just beginning.

:: after almost two years of waiting, we held our baby girl in our arms for the first time on April 28

:: we celebrated our seven-year anniversary with a trip to Starbucks, though neither of us likes coffee, because we didn't want to leave Laina and it was just down the road

:: speaking of Starbucks, I learned how to make a darn good chai tea latte

:: we spent our first Thanksgiving and Christmas as a family of five!

:: I went to Africa. Twice. Still unreal to me.

:: we dedicated Laina to Jesus

:: Jeremy and the boys camped out in the living room for two nights

:: Laina and I visited Alison and Avivah (and family) in Pennsylvania

:: we saw our baby girl's face for the first time, on the evening of April 14 (will never forget that night!)

:: we waited. For the first three and a half months of the year, we waited for news from Rwanda. Then we rejoiced for the rest of the months!

:: Jeremy discovered Fanta Fiesta in Rwanda. Uganda doesn't have it. Sad.

:: we learned a lot about attachment as we worked to help Laina learn what family means

:: we grew a lot as parents

:: Cory learned to write his name

:: The best moment of 2011? See below.

HOME!!!

Welcome, 2012.

Uganda--M1 and Sixty Feet

2011-12-23T15:38:00.006-05:00

Real prisons. Real bars. Real cement floors, cold from the rain and slick from the mud.

Real children, loved by God and known by name.

Sixty Feet is doing amazing things for the imprisoned children of Uganda. When I went to Uganda, I knew I believed in the vision of Sixty Feet and wanted to see and be a part of it. But after meeting the children at the M facilities, after seeing their beds--behind bars, some without blankets--after holding them on my lap and trying to sing the Zacchaeus song in Luganda (much to their great amusement), I not only believe in the vision of Sixty Feet. I love it.

Sixty Feet currently works in three "remand facilities," known for the protection of the children as M1, M2, and M3. These facilities are prisons for children. Some of the children were picked up for offenses such as begging, or because they were found on the streets. Some have been accused of crimes, but not yet tried (and when will they be? Unknown.). Some are there for "care and protection," because their families put them there, or because they had nowhere else to go. The M facilities are not places children should be. Sixty Feet has been able to bring medical care, fix faulty water pumps, bring food, etc. Twice a week, they visit each facility and share the love of Jesus through songs and preaching.

Sixty Feet also has a child sponsorship program to get eligible children out of the M facilities and into school or foster care. And there are plans in the works--plans that I love--to buy land and build a home where the most vulnerable children can go and live, be loved, and cared for.

Right now Sixty Feet is raising money for the land, and has been given a matching grant--up to $60,000!--for any money donated by the end of the year. During this season, we celebrate the One who came to set the captives free. Let's be His hands and feet and literally help set free these captive children. Click here to give. These are real children whose lives will be drastically changed.

The pictures above are from M1, during my visit. It was rainy when we were there, so their breakfast (which some of the older children cook for the whole group) was late. Porridge--flour and water--was breakfast. Posho--another kind of flour and water, thicker--and beans was lunch. There was a time of fellowship, led by Sixty Feet and one of the older children at M1, where we sang songs to Jesus and heard a message. We worshipped in a room with no electricity or furniture. Off that room were the boys' dorms, behind real bars, which they lock at night.

The work that Sixty Feet is doing is so important. Jesus loves these children, and we, His Church, should love them too. By the world's standards, they are the least of these. By the standards of the Kingdom, they are more valuable than words can say.

Trimming the Tree

2011-12-23T15:24:00.006-05:00

Our Christmas decorating was kept to a minimum this year. The tree, some lights, our nativity, stockings, and the Jesse Tree, and that's about it. I try, but I am just not much of a holiday decorator. But the kids were happy with what we did, so I'm good with that. Darn Pinterest. :)

The boys and I put up the tree while Laina was napping, but she got up just in time to help decorate it. After watching us for a few minutes ("What are these crazy people doing??"), she jumped in. She'd walk across the room to where I was unwrapping the ornaments, and when I'd hand her one, she'd toddle back over to the tree and put it in the same place. Each ornament. In one pile. Adorable. :)

The boys had a great time remembering the ornaments from last year, and talking about their favorites. I just kept remembering putting up last year's tree and being sad that my daughter was still on the other side of the ocean, when we thought she'd be home. Now she's here and smiley, enjoying her first taste of family Christmas fun.

Side note to the families still waiting: you are on my heart during this season. I know how hard it is. May the peace of Christ fill your heart.

We started another fun tradition this year. We got the kids in their pjs (I'll be so sad when they outgrow footies--so cute!), loaded into the car, and went to see Christmas lights. Jeremy and I actually got some uninterrupted time to talk while we drove. And everyone was happy.

(silly kids before we went to see the lights)

Merry Christmas!

Overwhelmed...

2011-12-10T16:18:00.008-05:00

...but not in a bad way. Thanksgiving--with all three of my children. Uganda. Advent now, waiting for the blessing of the One who came. Christmas--Laina's first with us. Changes coming for us--good ones. So much to think about, process, be thankful for. Where do I start?

Two years ago, we spent Thanksgiving with my family in the mountains of Tennessee. I wrote about it here. It was the first holiday after we started our adoption journey, and I spent the time very aware that someone was missing from our holiday celebration (little did I know that she hadn't even been born yet). We were still thinking we'd be home with our baby by the next summertime. Over that Thanksgiving, many families were in Rwanda bringing home their babies, and I took my laptop to the one room with internet once a day or so to read their stories and cry at their pictures. That will be us soon. It wasn't soon. But this Thanksgiving, it was us. I was aware of it as we drove to Jeremy's aunt and uncle's houseboat (yes, we had Thanksgiving dinner on a houseboat. How cool is that?), and I thought about it as I fed Laina her first bites of turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. (She liked it all!)

So this Thanksgiving, my gratitude overflowed. I am so thankful for Jeremy, Iain, Cory, and Laina. I'm thankful for this life we're building as we try to follow Jesus wherever He leads. I'm thankful that following Him led us to Rwanda and back. I'm thankful that Laina's birth mother chose life for her. I'm thankful for how having a little sister, an answer to their prayers, has changed my boys for the better. I'm thankful that God's plan for our family included these three, precious children. And I'm thankful that I get to do family, life, and love with my best friend. This year, Laina had a family to celebrate with. And we had her, and each other. It was a good Thanksgiving.

And, the boys got to drive the boat. I mean, how can you beat that?

Grammy and Papa stayed with us for Thanksgiving. Iain read a book to Papa for the first time. So proud of him!

I Forgot to Say...

2011-11-27T14:06:00.004-05:00

On the plane on the way to Africa, I met Immaculee Ilibagiza. She is a RW Genocide survivor who wrote the book "Left to Tell" as well as several other books. Now she speaks internationally about hope and forgiveness. She also helps fund the orphanage that Laina came from. It was so fun to meet her, give her a family picture of us, and tell her about Laina.

Day One

2011-11-27T06:51:00.004-05:00

After some VERY long flights, I made it here! Went to church this morning, and as usual, I loved the worship time (if you've ever worshipped in Africa, you know what I mean). Then we went to the Nakumatt (grocery store), ate some pizza (my fellow Rwanda parents are laughing at this--more pizza in Africa!!), and headed home. Later, we went shopping at a place very similar to the market we went to in RW.

The girls that Kelsey and Kirby are fostering are so sweet. I'm looking forward to spending time with them. And tomorrow I will go with Kelsey to M1. (Check out the Sixty Feet website if you don't know what that is). Praying for chances to love on some sweet children in Jesus' name.

I'll try to upload some pictures soon. In the meantime, google "ugly birds Uganda" and see the wildlife I am rather fascinated by. :)

Also for my RW people, so far I have seen no fanta citron or fanta fiesta. Still looking though...

Um...Surprise!

2011-11-25T16:11:00.002-05:00

As I write this, I'm at the airport in DC about to hop on a flight to Brussels, destination: Uganda. It's unbelievable to me that I am about to head to Africa for the second time in a little over six months. (And that I'm leaving my kids--three this time--for the second time in six months. Sad.) This trip is only a week long. My sister Kelsey is interning with Sixty Feet for a year (she moved to UG in August), so I'm going to visit her, volunteer with Sixty Feet, etc. Mostly, I'm going because as we try to follow Jesus in this life, it's what He seems to be calling us to. I'll post updates as I can. Want to come along?

Six Months Ago

2011-10-28T10:50:00.005-04:00

Six months ago today, we met our daughter for the first time. This half-year has flown by, sped on by the relief of not waiting anymore. She is home, she is ours, we rejoice. Can you believe the difference six months, a family, and lots of love make?

Then:

And now:

Six months ago she couldn't sit up alone. Today, she is walking like a champ (she took her first steps on September 5).

She even stood up on her own without pulling up on anything for the first time today.

Six months ago today, her daddy and I were strangers to her, and her brothers were just pictures in a book. Today, she calls "Dada!" and then plays a silly game with him when he comes upstairs to see her. Today she comes to me for comfort when she falls. Today she grins and plays with her brothers whom she adores.

Six months ago today Laina's life changed immeasurably. Today, she spends an ordinary day with her family. And we are thankful.

Cute Baby

2011-10-18T16:16:00.003-04:00

Is this girl not the cutest thing you've ever seen?

(Annie, do you recognize the onesie?)

(Laina and the doll Nan gave her)

A New Word

2011-10-11T14:51:00.001-04:00

Iain's decided he needs to make up new words. He wants them "spread all over the world," and he thought that the blog would be a good way to do that. Either that or going door-to-door in our neighborhood. I nixed that one. So, word of the day: magelastic. It means you like water, land, and rain. Got it? Good.

Great is His Faithfulness

2011-10-10T21:53:00.004-04:00

When we started this adoption journey, Cory was one and a half years old, and Iain was not quite three. This picture was taken a few days after we submitted our first application to adopt--and a year and a few days before Laina was born.

We thought we'd be home with her for sure by the next summer, July of 2010. Cory was two and a half, and Iain was going on four. Laina had just been born.

(This picture was taken on the day Laina was born. Crazy, huh? Of course, we didn't know it until almost a year later. I wish I could remember what we did that day--besides, clearly, read books.)

And now she is home. In this picture, Cory was three and a half and Iain was nearly five. And Laina turned one, two years and eleven days after we started the journey. It's still hard to believe that she's here, home, ours. She is a testimony to God's faithfulness to our family every day, and with every smile she reminds us of grace.

Life

2011-10-08T22:04:00.001-04:00

Iain's summary of our life thus far:

"You and Dad got married, and then a little while later, I came. Then a little while later, Cory came. Then a LONG time later, Laina! After checking LOTS of emails that were not the right one. How long was that? It took them a long time to decide. And then they gave us the cutest one."

The Five-Year-Old Camping Trip

2011-10-03T10:13:00.000-04:00

The final birthday celebration: camping in the N's backyard in Tennessee. When we pulled into the driveway, the N kids and the B kids surrounded the car chanting, "Iain, Cory, Iain, Cory..." The boys thought it was hilarious. I thought what a weird family I have. :)

Friday afternoon, Aunt Steph took the kids for a ride in the trailer that I rode in as a kid, as did she, making it a three-generation trailer. They, of course, loved it.

Meanwhile Cassie and Laina walked around in the sunshine.

Laina was pretty much in heaven with so many people to walk her around. I don't think she stopped walking the whole night.

After that, we had a cookout over the campfire. Sam built the fire, much to my boys' amazement, and we have had countless discussions about Sam's fire-making ability since we got home. (That's Sam in the red shirt, FYI.)

Then we headed inside for the party. (What?! THAT wasn't the party?! Oh no. That was the warm-up.)

Iain had requested a Cars race track on a cookie cake. Ok, thought I. No biggie. Then the night before the camping trip, he told me it also needed to have a pit crew, a Dinoco tent, and a helicopter. :) I drew a sample Dinoco tent for him to approve, and he said it was not up to par. So he drew me one, and showed me how the Dinoco helicopter was to be landing on the tent. He even wrote Dinoco on it so I'd be sure to remember. As he was going to bed that night, he said, "Remember Mom. Dinoco. You can look at the King if you need to remember. Dinoco. Got it? Remember it, Mom. Dinoco. Ok?" (If you aren't quite as well-versed in Cars as we are, Dinoco is the sponsor that the cars all want to have. The King is a race car currently sponsored by Dinoco, so he has the words printed all over him.)

Anyway. Here was the result, and Iain said it was just like he imagined it would be. Phew!! (Thank goodness he's easy to please, if rather specific!)

When he blew out his candles, he made his wish out loud (so cute.). He wished for another Lightning shirt to wear. Aunt Steph handed him their present:

Meanwhile, Laina walked around with Nan and Uncle Randy:

(such a cute picture!)

The boys/menfolk slept outside in tents that night and had a great time. And we all got hot showers in the morning. Nice camping trip! :) On Saturday, we went to Bald Creek Falls (I think that's the right name?) for a picnic lunch, a hike, and some playing in the (very cold) water. It was a beautiful day.

We had such a nice weekend with the fam and the great outdoors. Thank you to everyone who came and partied down with us, and to the Ns for hosting the camping trip. It was Iain's dream come true. :)

Grace and Law in Parenting

2011-10-01T10:20:00.002-04:00

This is a really good post about how grace and law go hand-in-hand in parenting. Tell me what you think of it! :)

pictures!

2011-09-29T15:18:00.001-04:00

Finally got Iain's birthday pictures up. Check 'em out. :)

Iain is Five!

2011-09-15T13:47:00.004-04:00

The long-awaited, now-I-can-chew-gum birthday is here. Yesterday was the big day, and Iain opened his cards, his present from Grammy and Papa (a Playmobil castle or fort which he and Cory have played with non-stop since--who needs school?) and his present from Cory (a piggy bank. "Just what I always wanted!" shrieked the birthday boy in delight).

Watching a video from Grammy and Papa:

Not sure which boy likes the present better:

(Last day as a four--exciting for him, a bit sad for me!)

(First day as a five! Taken on the way to bed--I almost forgot.)

Today, we had a birthday breakfast for him with the Stephens, the Burtons, and the Whatleys at "the House of Waffles" before our science co-op. The eleven (!!) children eight and under behaved remarkably well up until the very end (well, except for the ketchup in the hair incident) and Iain declared Waffle House bacon the best bacon he's had in his whole life. (See why we keep the parties coming for this guy? He's so enthusiastic and easy to please!)

The gang:

The boys (minus Isaiah):

The girls (minus Laina and Hannah):

Sticky, noisy, tasty fun:

So cute:

Later this month, we're going camping with the cousins--the thing Iain requested above all. That will (finally) wrap up the birthday festivities.

The big moment: gum! He was so darn excited about this. He wanted me to do it with him. That's how he says it: do gum. :)

In case you want to look back, here are the former Iain birthday posts:

Iain, you are a joy. You are hilarious, smart, empathetic, and generous. You gave Cory three of your birthday dollars yesterday just to be sweet. You have a long fuse, and you laugh a lot. You love to play and sing and be silly. You love books, and you really love math. You are a wonderful big brother to Cory and Laina.

You have a sense of justice and a love for Jesus. You are a true follower of Jesus and you really want to obey Him. We are so happy that you belong to Jesus.

You are a wonderful, sweet, fun boy and we love you so much.

Sometimes...

2011-09-07T15:11:00.003-04:00

...a morning of school starts out with me thinking about how fun it is that we can spend half an hour talking about Brazil and independence and flags and George Washington, and ends with me letting the boys watch a movie just so I can have a second of quiet after fighting to get through just one simple reading lesson with Iain.

Wow, that was a long sentence.

Rewind: Laina's Birthday Party

2011-09-04T12:46:00.008-04:00

Okay, this post might be just a little (ahem, almost two months) late. What can I say? We've been busy.

But not too busy to party down for Laina's first birthday! Lindy and Liz, and Aunt Donis, along with most of my family came to get the party ready. Lindy found some adorable pink lemonade party ideas on Pinterest (where else?) and the party was beautiful and so fun. We were so glad to be able to celebrate our dear girl's first birthday with her!

(hanging the Happy Birthday Laina banner)

(we had lemonade in cute glass bottles, pink cupcakes in jars, cookies with sprinkles, pink and yellow pinwheels, and lemons everywhere)

(LOVE this picture!)

The boys found Princess Laina this crown. They love playing princess and knights with her. She did not love her cupcake. In fact, she gagged on it.

She was much happier in her headband and chewing on a lemon. :)

Opening presents...

The turtle thing was hilarious: Mom got Laina this stuffed turtle and when she opened it, she started growling and attacking it. Over and over. We were laughing so hard--she'd stop and look at it, and then attack it again.

Party guests (minus a few):

(Laina and Uncle Chris)

(with Sarah and Hannah Joy)

(with Aunt Lindy)

(with Aunt Jen)

(Cassie, Haylee, Jess, Micah)

(cousin Addie)

(devoted brothers)

(Penny and Liz)

Happy birthday, dear girl! We love you so!

First Two Weeks of School

2011-08-26T10:10:00.005-04:00

Well the Brannon homeschooling has begun! We are ending our second week today. On the first day of school, we took school pictures. Fun! Iain is starting Kindergarten, and Cory is in Preschool. Laina is in Cute, and doing it well. :)

School pics:

Here's our fall curriculum:

Bible:

One Year Bible Storybook

Language Arts:

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons

Handwriting Without Tears

Victory Drills

Iain: Specific Skills Series

Math:

Iain: Singapore Math A and B

Cory: manipulative play, counting, games, etc. Although he really wants to do Singapore.

Social Studies:

US Famous Americans

Science:

Some friends and I are putting together unit studies and taking turns leading and hosting them. This week was my week and we did states of matter, including root beer floats (root beer=liquid, ice cream = solid, carbonation=gas). It was fun!

Other:

--The boys both go to Timothy School on Tuesdays for enrichment classes. Iain is in art, and Cory in music.

It's been tricky finding a good rhythm, especially with a one-year-old who does NOT like being left out and a three-year-old who has been rather cranky lately. Iain's loving it though. He likes "pacific skills" best because "I like the A and B part." Cory likes "when we got those root beer things." Cory's pretty much saying every day that he doesn't like school, but when Iain and I start in, somehow he finds his way over and starts participating. :)

We like Handwriting Without Tears (HWT) especially. It's a fun program that has hands-on activities, music, and silly pictures and words.

Teach Your Child to Read is what I used with Iain last year. We are on lesson 76 now and he's doing great. This past Tuesday he just really got it and started taking off. Not the first big reading jump he's had (I love those lightbulb moments), but certainly one of the best. Cory is on lesson 8 (I think?) and knows the sounds for the long e, m, s, t, and short a.

(opening prayer with Dad our first day)

The first week of school I was so sick. Our first day, I was sicker than I had been in a long time. I thought about putting off the first day, but the boys were so excited. I had no voice for the first week, which made things really hard. But somehow we got through it and now we have a story to tell. Remember how on our very first week of home schooling you couldn't talk? :)

We started Five in a Row, but it's not working for me. Iain likes it, but it's just not my style. I tried it once before with Before Five in a Row and didn't like it. I thought this one would fit us better. But I don't care for reading the same book five days in a row. So I think we might have to drop that.

They're loving Timothy. I basically drop Cory off in music, sit in the hall with Iain and Laina until it's time to pick Cory up and drop Iain off, and then Cory, Laina and I eat lunch until it's time to pick up Iain. Lots of logistics, but it works. Iain came home last week telling me about an artist named Phil whose work they copied. And he won a sticker. Cory told me about singing the "music alphabet that's not like the ordinary alphabet because there's no H in it."

I had a good teacher moment last night when Iain correctly explained to Jeremy the three states of matter and how you tell which one a given thing is, and this hours after science class. Score!

We still haven't found the best way to structure the day, or even where we like to work in the house. And honestly I have spent more time this week disciplining a particular boy than I have teaching anything (I guess that counts as teaching character, right? Right??). But we'll get it.

Two weeks down. Twenty-some-odd years to go. Yikes.

This and That

2011-08-12T08:33:00.005-04:00

When we found a new home for our dog Posey (did I mention we gave her away?), we promised the boys a fish instead. I love that that was an acceptable trade. The boys named him Frank. (Look at Cory the ham in these pictures!)

Right after we got Frank, we were driving somewhere when Iain said thoughtfully, "I wonder what Frank is thinking right now..."

(Some of these quotes are recycled from Facebook. Just didn't want to lose them.)

Cory: You are the boss of us, and Jesus is the boss of you.

Me: That's right.

Cory: That's because Jesus is a grown-up.

Me: Actually, it's because He's God.

Cory: And God is a grown-up. Just a really big one.

Iain: I've figured out some'kin. If I just do whatever Mama and Daddy ask right away, it takes less time and I can get back to my playing.

Me: (finally!!)

Cory: I know how to be wise in a pleasant way. Bring band-aids with you.

The boys both got new bikes! (Thanks Aunt Sam!)

(Iain with old bike and new)

(Cory cracks me up!)

(Laina watches her brothers ride.)

Iain, at the park, to me: I'm going to go make a new friend.

(to a seven-year-old boy): What are you doing?

Boy: (keeps digging in the sand, no answer)

Iain: My name is Iain Mark B. What's yours?

Boy: Andrew.

Iain: Oh! I have a cousin named Andrew as well.

Kelly, to me: Did he just say, "as well"?

(and then Iain and Andrew played for the rest of the time at the park. My boy made me proud with his friend-making skills. He's so great.)

Cory, looking at Laina: Mama, why is she brown?

Me: Because God made her that way.

Cory: I think being brown makes her cuter.

Me: Me too.

Cory: Having a baby is hard because then you have to be really not whiney if she does something wrong.

Speaking of the little lady, here she is:

Oh my word, is she ever cute. And funny. And smart. She's soo close to walking. I give her a month and she'll be off. She mimics sounds and words. She says night-night and hi. (She says "haaaaa" and waves to Jeremy every time she sees him--so cute!!) She mimics me saying shhh, and p-p-p, and other sounds. She regularly says uh-oh when she drops something. She gives hugs now, too, which is the sweetest thing ever. Love that girl.

If you go to church with us, you saw this one. We had a graduation thing for the pre-k kids who are moving up into Kids' Church. Of course, Iain is one of them, and is so very excited. So at church, the kids are all up on stage singing their VBS songs, and doing motions. Well, Iain was not doing the motions. More on that in a minute.

After the songs, all the kids are told to sit down on stage. Stephen B, one of the elders, gets the mic and says something like, "Now we're going to do a graduation for the kids who are moving up into Kindergarten." And my dear Iain stands up and says loudly, "That's me!"

Everyone: (laughing)

Stephen: Yes, you are moving up, aren't you? And--

Iain: This is my last week to be in preschool. After this I get to be in Kindergarten.

Everyone: (laughing)

Stephen: Okay, would you like to tell everyone what will happen next week?

Iain: (taking the mic and speaking loudly and slowly into it): I am going to be in kindergarten because I am almost five.

Everyone: (more laughing)

Me: (afraid of what he might say next!)

Stephen: (goes on with the program)

Iain: (still standing, calls out) I think it's going to be more funner!

After the service, several people commented on what a--ahem--confident young man we're raising. And when I asked him later why he didn't do the motions, he replied: "I was too embarrassed." Riiight.

check it out

2011-08-08T22:12:00.001-04:00

FYI: I added a few pictures if the Lucy Museum to the Ethiopia post. Also, I will blog again someday. Honest.

oops

2011-07-31T00:03:00.002-04:00

If you read this blog in a feed (or however you say that), I hit publish on the last Rwanda post too soon, accidentally, before I had finished writing. So you might want to come to the real blog and read it. Or you might not. But at least now you have the option. Knowing is half the battle, and all that. :)

Rwanda Rewind: HOME!

2011-07-21T15:31:00.010-04:00

This is the last installment of the retelling of our Rwanda adventure. It's with a sigh of relief that I finish it. Glad to be done with the trip; glad to be done with writing about it. Ready to be home in real life and on the blog!

HOME!! That word never sounded so sweet. When our plane landed, I could not get off it fast enough. Kelsey had taken the boys through security with a special pass so they could actually meet us at the gate. I missed them SO MUCH on this trip--could not wait to get my arms around them. All three of my children in my arms--the stuff of many dreams.

The boys waiting for us to deplane:

Several people on the plane spoke to us and found out what was happening. That lady smiling on the left of the picture got off before us and told the boys we were coming. Then she stayed to watch. :) Here we come!

The moment I waited for:

Finally together.
Could not stop hugging them.
Meeting baby sister at long last.
First family photo: (thanks Kels!)

On the train, headed for baggage claim.

Family and friends were there to meet us. Such a wonderful homecoming! (Because we switched our return date from a Sunday afternoon to a Thursday, many people couldn't make it. We appreciate the thought!) Loved the posters!!

Meeting Nona for the first time!

And meeting Nan:

My dear friend Kelly, who prayed this baby home (and kept me sane!):

I love how Cory and Sam are hugging in this picture. They sure missed each other (the boys were in FL while we were in Africa, so they didn't see each other for a month).

Lindy and Addie, me and Laina, Liz and Penny: the girl "greats" and mamas:

And all the greats:

I was SO HAPPY to see my boys. Have I said that yet?

Heading to the car.
I think Jeremy was a little happy to see them too.
sweet.
sweet.

Jeremy flagging down the car. He looks rather festive. :)

When we got home, our mailbox and our front porch were decorated with girly balloons!

I can't even look at these pictures without tears in my eyes. Finally being home with our daughter after two years of waiting, weeks of travel, so many ups and downs, so many emotions and thoughts, so much learned and fought, so much grace. I find it hard to put into words. We let the kids play on the rug together and marveled. We put Laina down in her crib for the first time and rejoiced. We fell asleep, exhausted and jet-lagged, and woke the next morning (and many times during the night!) to our new normal. We fed Laina breakfast. We got three kids dressed. We turned the page to a new chapter entitled: finally a family of five.

And all we can say is thank You.

Rwanda Rewind: The Journey Home

2011-07-16T16:23:00.005-04:00

On our way home! A 17 hour flight never looked so good. We got to the airport early in hopes of snagging the bassinet seat for the babies (Laina and Jeb), but there weren't any available (although later I found out that most of the people sitting in the bassinet seats didn't have babies. Grr.)

While we waited for our plane, we saw a woman dressed in the same habit as the sisters at Laina's former orphanage. We started talking to her, and found out that she is Rwandan, and was returning from a visit to her mother. She knew Sister K and several of the other sisters at the orphanage. How amazing is that? She held Laina, and spoke to her in Kinyarwanda. Oh how I wish I could have understood what she was saying. I hoped that Laina could, and that she was soaking up the last time she'd hear her first language spoken for a while.

The sister blessed us for what we were doing (we're the blessed ones!) and told Laina and Jeb to be good. What a sweet way to end our time in Africa.

(travel buddies)

(us and the Bowers getting ready to board)

Although we didn't get bassinet seats, both us and the Bowers each got a whole center row to ourselves (another provision of God and thanks to the flight attendants that moved people just to make that happen). We were on the second-to-last row of the plane, and they were behind us. I love being in the back of the plane (not that I love being on a plane at all). It seems more private and like you have more space. Plus, you're closer to the bathrooms.

So we had three seats for the three of us. It worked out so well. Laina fell asleep on me, and I got her lying down in the middle seat. She slept that way (and sometimes on me) through the night and even through the re-feuling in Rome. She took a good nap, too. All in all, she slept for ten of the seventeen hours. And having her awake for seven of them was enough for me. What a long flight.

(I took this one for the boys who are always talking about jumping on or eating clouds)

We made it! As soon as we touched down in DC, Laina became an American citizen. Her first act as such was to cry so loudly and long while we stood in the customs line that they let us go ahead of everyone just to get us out of there. Good going, chica!

After a nap, she felt much better. After some fresh food, we did too. Here's our American citizen, sitting (propped up) proud!

Our flight to Atlanta was short and seemed long. The gentleman next to me talked to Laina until she fell asleep. He asked about our journey and then compared our long absence from our boys to how he feels upon greeting his dogs after he's been away for the weekend. (How do you respond graciously to that?! I'm sorry. Children and pets are not the same thing. But he was nice regardless.) I tried to read and couldn't. I couldn't do anything but sit and fidget. So close, so very close to my boys, to finally being together, all of us.

I always thought that the moment we first saw our daughter would be wonderful, but not as wonderful as the moment we were finally all together. I was right.

This is the part we had dreamed of for two years.

Rwanda Rewind: Ethiopia

2011-07-15T21:20:00.001-04:00

(yay! Ethiopia!)

We arrived in Ethiopia half-asleep early Saturday morning. We loaded all the families' stuff on the tops of several vans and headed to the guest house. There we happily discovered that we had been assigned to room with our dear friends the Stengels. Laina and Addy spent happy hours rolling on the floor together,

and Adrienne, Dillion, Jeremy and I hung out and talked most evenings after the girls were asleep. What a blessing they were to us during the last, long days away from home.

(the Stengels being stalked by a lion at the Lion Zoo--our last day in ET)

After dropping off our stuff, we all went to the kids' medical appointments, where we sat outside in the African sun (it was surprisingly pleasant out!) and tried not to fall asleep while waiting for our babies' names to be called. The doctors weighed and measured Laina (15 lbs! A whole pound gained since the hospital!), and asked us a few questions about her development. They checked her vaccination record. Done. They would deliver the report to the Embassy later on in the week, and we'd proceed to get the visa and go home.

We went to lunch at a place called Amsterdam. It was pretty good, and the restaurant was very interesting (inside, outside, tents, roofs, second story dining, patio dining). Then we tried to stay awake until a reasonable bedtime could be had.

(every time I tried to get a picture of Addy, Laina tried to steal the spotlight)

Sunday morning, we went to church. Although I missed most of the message (out in the lobby with a fussy baby, along with at least one parent/baby set from most of the families traveling with us), I did get to sing "Might to Save" and "The Stand" while holding my baby girl. Those two songs were special to me throughout the waiting time. So many times I sang them and thought about my daughter, and now, I was standing in Africa singing them with her in my arms. Thank You Jesus for that special gift.

After church, we went to a restaurant called Lucy something-or-other, which is connected to the museum that houses the Lucy remains. Laina choked during lunch, making my heart stop, and right when I finally got the tiny pieces of bread out of her mouth and she breathed again, a man in a suit who had apparently been making his way over to us when he saw what was happening, put his hand on my shoulder and said, "in Jesus name!" And then he picked up her bottle and stuck it in her mouth, telling me to give her a drink.

When lunch was done, we headed to the Lucy museum. My nerdy anthropological self was delighted.

We saw all the archaeological stuff (Ethiopia is home to a lot!), and then some historical artifacts, and some beautiful artwork (a lot of which was political in nature. So interesting!) I loved it. Especially because our contact in ET was incredibly knowledgeable about ET history and culture, and how it as a country fits into the world today, and where it is possibly heading in the future. Did I mention I love this stuff? One of the most interesting facts we learned is that Ethiopia uses a different calendar than much of the world. So while we were in Ethiopia, we were in the year 2003. Time-telling is different too, but I can't remember exactly how, except that it makes a lot more sense than our way. We also talked about communism, conservation, culture, and the Nile River.

(there she is: Lucy)

(isn't that beautiful? Thanks to the Stengels for these pictures!)

Much of our time in Ethiopia is mixed up to me. We went to the Embassy a few times. We prayed that a certain item of paperwork that they were giving us trouble about would be accepted. It was. We took visa photos of the kids in a really hot room (all of us in there at one time, plopping babies down assembly-line style with the photographer snapping away). We encountered much more visible poverty than we had seen in Rwanda, and we had our hearts broken. But there was a strength in Ethiopia, too. And there was beauty.

We planned and celebrated a surprise second birthday party for Avivah McLennan (Adrienne and I were proud of ourselves for finding presents, a banner, and a party hat!).

We wandered up to the rooftop of our building and watched the Father paint the sky.

We took in the sights and smells of Ethiopia as well as we could in such a short time. It got under my skin, that's for sure. I was fascinated by this country and her proud people. And by the mannequins that were held in place by nooses around their necks. They were all looking in the same direction off to the side and I knew that any moment they were all going to simultaneously turn their heads and look the other direction. With their nooses. Creepy. But I digress. Here are some cows!

And we took a group picture.

On Wednesday morning, we had our visa appointments. We heard that there was a strong possibility that we'd be getting our visa that day. After some discussion and prayers, we and one other family decided to try to leave that night. Yes, we booked our tickets home before we had the visas in hand. After some more drama and craziness, it appeared that it just might work.

We were going home! We had to get back to the hotel and pack, but we had wanted to see the Lion Zoo before we left. With only a few hours before our flight, we decided to throw caution to the wind.

We went to the Lion Zoo.

(look at this one closely. That baboon is yawning and you can see his fierce teeth!)

It was small and the animals were in small cages. They were up close and personal though! People were feeding candy to the baboon. And the flowers were gorgeous!

After the zoo, we headed back to the guest house. We packed and took quick showers. Laina and Avivah got their pictures taken in their matching dresses (Alison and I got them independently of each other).

(do I see a best friendship in the making?)

We were really going home! I couldn't believe it. We missed the boys so much, and we were going to see them soon. I think if we had had them with us in Africa, I would have been happy to stay much longer, but as it was, I was anxious to see my people. But amid the joy, there was sorrow too. We had to say our goodbyes to the people who walked this road with us. The two families leaving that night were the first two to go. It was the beginning of us all going our different ways, after having shared some of the most difficult and wonderful moments of the adoption journey with each other. I was sad to leave them, and sad to leave Africa. But it was time, after over three weeks, to go.

Happy First Birthday, Laina Belle!

2011-07-14T20:11:00.005-04:00

Today our sweet baby girl turns one. She is a beautiful, delightful, funny, animated, wacky, opinionated little thing. In the past eight weeks since we have been home with Laina, she has learned to sit, scoot, crawl, pull up, sign "more" and "all done" and today, she said her first two words! Two words! On her birthday! She's brilliant! :) She says "off" (we were playing with the light switch) and "uh-oh," which is the cutest thing ever. (I've called her Laina Belle since we named her--not sure why, but apparently I do it too much because Iain told the UPS guy that Belle was her middle name.)

We had Laina's birthday party on Saturday (pictures to come!), so today we had a low-key, sweet day with the birthday girl. The kiddos wrestled on pillows and played silly games all morning.

Isaiah came over after lunch and all four played with Laina's new water table (a gift from Nona). Look at that little girl stand! (She's rockin' her "1" onesie and floweredy jeans, too!)

(tut-tut! Looks like rain!)

This evening, we went to Chick-fil-a for dinner and the boys and Laina played in the play place. Then it was home and to bed for all people in this house ages four, three, and one. It was a nice birthday: family-full and fun.

We lit a candle in honor of Laina's birth family, too. I couldn't get them off my mind today, especially her birth mother. I wonder if she spent the day thinking of her baby girl?

Laina, you are so loved. We loved you not only before we met you, but even before you were born. We started getting ready to adopt you over a year before you took your first breath of Rwandan air. This time last year, when you were born, we were planning one of our many garage sales to bring you home--fighting for you from across the sea.

You are a blessing to us, Laina. We are proud of you, and so glad you are ours. Happy birthday, sweet girl.

Rwanda Rewind: The Second (whole) Week

2011-07-10T14:58:00.006-04:00

May 9-13

By the time the second Monday rolled around, we were ready to hit it. We applied for Laina's passport early, and spent the rest of the day trying to get the To Whom letter, the one that would let us keep Laina with us all the time, and travel out of the country with her. It was a long day of waiting. Laina didn't seem to mind.

Tuesday we waited some more, and then we got the To Whom and rejoiced!

We took one last visit to the orphanage to say goodbye. That was good and sad too. Adoption is a beautiful but painful answer to a broken world. Laina was loved and cared for by the people at her orphanage, and they had to say goodbye to her and she to them. She was gaining a family who loves her dearly, but she was losing something too. And the dear, faithful people who care for her and the other orphans under their watch, they say goodbye to these little ones so often. They are happy to see them being united with their families, but it's got to be hard to say goodbye.

(Laina in the arms of one of the sisters who cared for her)

But we were joyous too. We were taking Laina out of those blue gates for the last time. We were closer to being home and back with our boys. We had made a huge step in the paperwork process.

(Laina and I, and our dear friends Alison and Avivah)

(one of my favorite pictures from the whole trip!)

Wednesday through Friday we spent waiting for Laina's passport, getting her visa, etc. We took a trip to the place she was born. That part of the story is hers; I won't be posting details of it. We got to know our little girl better, and we spent time with the other families on our trip.

(Laina on the bus the day we heard the kids' stories)

(Jeb and Laina playing on the bed)

On Friday, we went to the Embassy to try to get Laina's visa. God moved mountains, and miraculously every single child in our group, plus a few others (other families who were adopting) got their visa. Our flight out to Ethiopia left that night (well, really the next morning at 1am), so we had to leave Chez Lando at 10-ish. We packed furiously (actually, we had started packing by faith before we actually had the visas in hand!), and tried to get our paperwork in order.

(Jeremy and Laina went to go get one last round of water bottles at the Joint Supermarket--yes, that's its real name--while I finished up the packing)

We walked to Sole Luna one last time for pizza for dinner (along with Dillon and Jeff). While the men waited for the pizza, I carried Laina to the big open part of the restaurant that overlooks the city of Kigali. We watched night fall on Rwanda, and I whispered to her to say goodbye to her homeland. More heaviness in the midst of joy. It was a sweet moment to share with my daughter in the twilight of our last night in Rwanda. I treasure it.

(the courtyard of Chez Lando, right before we left)

We said goodbye to our home in Rwanda, where we had stayed for 17 incredible days. We woke Laina up from her brief sleep, packed onto the bus one last time, and drove to the airport. Tearful goodbyes to our two POAs (whom we love and miss, and who did such an amazing job getting us through, whom we are so thankful for). Waiting endlessly to get through ticket counters, customs, security. Climbing the steps to the plane, with Laina in the ergo, in the balmy night. Breathing deeply of Rwanda's air one last time.

We were tired and sad and happy and excited. Laina cried and fussed until the plane engines got loud and then she stopped to listen to them, and fell immediately asleep and slept, albeit fitfully, through the whole flight. We landed in Ethiopia early the next morning. A chapter of the trip closed. Another opened.

Seventeen days in Rwanda.

Note: Thanks to Stephan Sharp and Alison McLennan for some of the pictures on this post.

Fourth of July--Laina's First!

2011-07-07T21:37:00.004-04:00

We celebrated the Fourth of July this year by going to the Marietta Parade. As parades go, it was kind of lame. Mostly it was businesses who rode in cars and waved out their windows. Not many floats or marching bands. Our favorite part was the Cobb County librarians who pushed decorated library carts in front of them and spun them in unison. They were funny. And yes, we are nerds.

Iain LOVED the parade. Jeremy said that that boy belongs in parades, and he's right. Iain waved his flag, yelled, "Happy Fourth of July!" and jumped around to his heart's content.

Cory watched and wilted in the heat.

Laina was very interested in the goings-on. She didn't mind the loud music or sirens, but she hated it when the motorcycles revved their engines. She dove into me and hid every time.

My cousin Cassie was staying with us for a few days and came too--she and I hit up the QT for the 59 cent sodas before hand, so we were good. :)

We tried to get some good family pictures. We got some family pictures:

Then we headed home to cool off and make some pinwheels, and build with blocks.

sweetest smile ever!

Iain drew a soldier fighting for our country. Then he made his pirate face for the photo.

He drew Superman too, which I loved. Look at his cape and his S! :)

Cory was very proud of his tower.

The Burtons came over for dinner and Jeremy cooked out. We didn't do fireworks (they didn't start until 9pm), but we were treated to quite a storm and lightning show. All in all, it was a fun day, and made sweeter by the fact that our youngest is a new American citizen and that this was our first holiday to celebrate with her.

July 4th is also Rwanda's Liberation Day, the day the Rwandan Patriotic Front entered Kigali and brought the 1994 genocide to an end. So it's a doubly important day around our house.

Happy Independence Day, America! Happy Liberation Day, Rwanda!

Book Review - Uncle Sam's Plantation by Star Parker

2011-07-06T15:36:00.003-04:00

From the title alone, you could surmise that this book has some incendiary ideas and opinions, and you would be right. Uncle Sam's Plantation is a no-nonsense, very conservative look at poverty in America and how the government has responded and is currently responding. The author, Star Parker, pulls no punches in dissecting the welfare system, the reasons for poverty, and how much of the government's actions designed to help the poor are actually hurting them. She tackles issues such as minimum wage, abortion, welfare, and education. Phew! While Parker comes down hard on politicians who don't use common sense, and on those people who work the welfare system because they don't want to get jobs (especially men who mooch off women), her tone changes when she speaks of the poor who need help. She is compassionate and concerned. And she has a great deal of common sense and economic smarts that make her ideas seem doable. Parker talks a lot about personal responsibility, which is a refreshing topic in an age where victim mentality reigns. She has faith that, given the proper tools (including education, religious training and the knowledge of right, wrong and consequences) most people will become decent, productive people.

Star Parker is a black woman who worked her way off welfare after being challenged to do so by her pastor. As a young girl, she was told that she couldn't do certain things (have a good job, make money, etc) because the whites would always keep her down. She proved the naysayers (including her former self) wrong. She is an American success story, and now she is a spokesperson for issues of race and poverty. Her story is inspiring.

I enjoyed the first half of the book most. The chapters where she delves into the history of America (in regards to race and poverty) are fascinating. I would use those parts of the book to round out a course in American History for high schoolers. Eventually, though, when I had read past Parker's personal story, the historical accounts, and the parts where she talks about the different kinds of "poor," reading the book felt like listening to a LOT of conservative talk radio: you know they're right on a lot of stuff, but there's only so long you can listen. I was relived to find myself at the end of the book.

Also, it seemed like Parker spent all her time laying out the problems facing America, and no time offering solutions. Maybe the solution lies in getting her message out to many people? But it seems to me that giving specific actions that everyday people can do to help the poor, to fight Big Government, to make our voices heard on issues of abortion, education, etc, would have strengthened the book a good deal.

There was also the weird part where she repeated, word for word, two and a half pages of text a few chapters later. Was that intentional? :)

Overall, this was a good but exhausting read. I think I would have liked it better if it were shorter. But maybe that's because, as a mother of three small children, I hear a good deal of fussing as it is. Even when the fussing is completely legitimate, it does where on you after a while. Parker's personal story, and the history sections make it worthwhile though. For those sections, I will keep this book around.

Note: Booksneeze has provided me with a complementary copy of this book in exchange for a review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Rwanda Rewind: The First (whole) Week

2011-06-30T21:25:00.009-04:00

May 2-8.

Finally, we were able to start on some adoption paperwork! (Never thought I'd be happy about more paperwork.) Monday morning we hit the ground running, heading to MIGEPROF, and then to the orphanage for a very short visit. Then we headed to sector to work on our Act of Adoption paperwork. We were so excited to get it done!

The first thing checked off the list! (I know this is probably absolutely boring to those of you not in the adoption process, but it's good for us to be able to remember. So bear with me!)

After that, we went back to the orphanage for like two seconds. Then we headed to a new restaurant for lunch. Called Afrika Bite, it was Rwandan food and delicious. Especially the traditional bread. Chipote? I have no idea how to spell it, but I could eat it every day. And the peanut sauce. Yum.

Then we all headed to the airport to pick up the five families who were coming today. It was hard to believe that we were supposed to just now be arriving, when it felt like we had already been there so long. Meeting some new friends (only known to us online) and seeing old ones was so good. And the size of our group more than doubled. Yikes!

More running around all afternoon, dinner at the pizza place, and home to the hotel. We switched rooms this day, unfortunately in that we went from a nice room overlooking the courtyard to a very loud one overlooking a construction site and an insanely loud road. But fortunate in the fact that we got to have a room adjoining the Bowers' room. Fun!

The rest of the week was filled with running around to different offices and buildings, requesting a court date, visiting Laina, going to court, waiting for our ruling, eating at various places (meals take hours in Rwanda), waiting for things to happen.

I learned to do laundry in our room, and we never had to use the laundry service. It was actually kind of relaxing and normal in the midst of stressful and different. Not that I typically do our laundry in the sink, but you know what I mean. Mindless repetition and all that.

We attended court, which was nerve-wracking before and surprisingly quick and painless. We went to the Genocide Memorial (I wrote about it here). It was beautiful and heartbreaking.

Then the big day arrived: Gotcha Day, the day we'd pass court and Laina would be ours forever. May 6, 2011.

It was a bit surreal for me because I missed it. I was pretty sick that day and had to stay at the hotel the whole day. Yuck! So I found out via text that we had a new daughter, and I had to wait until the next day to see her.

But the next day (Saturday) was another good one because we got to take her out of the orphanage for the day! The families who passed court got up bright and early to be at the orphanage by 6:30 and take our babies with us. It was amazing to walk out the doors with her. We had a lot of firsts that day.

First nap on our bed (on top of the ergo, in her orphanage clothes still).

First bath with us (in the sink!).

First outfit chosen by us (a shirt the boys picked out for her with Aunt Kelsey, grey leggings, and a headband and bow from Aunt Lindy).

It was a bit intimidating--okay, a lot intimidating--to be given this almost-ten-month old baby and being supposed to know what to do next. How often did she nap? How much formula did she need, and how often? Was she on solids yet? And on the questions went. I felt like a first-time mother again, except more relaxed. As in, "I have no idea what I'm doing, but it'll work out."

We hung out around the hotel for a lot of the morning, and then we took a trip outside the city to a nearby village. The country of Rwanda is amazingly beautiful, as are her people.

We had to bring Laina back to the orphanage that night, which was heart-wrenching. This trip was so full of highs and lows it was astounding. But Sunday morning, we picked her up again and got to go to church with her. And it was Mother's Day! Church with my daughter on Mother's Day. Now that's a good day.

And so ended the first full week in Rwanda. We made great strides in our paperwork, we spent time with Laina, we missed our boys like crazy, we learned and loved Rwanda some more.

One Month Home

2011-06-23T19:48:00.004-04:00

What a difference a month makes!

We've actually been home for a month and four days today. These pictures were taken on the four-week anniversary, by my talented sister Kelsey.

We've heard that the first month home is the hardest, and I think that's likely true. When we were handed this sweet little girl, we loved her...but we didn't know her. A very clear example: for the first few nights, we had a terrible time getting her to go to sleep at night. She clearly wanted to, but was unhappy whether we laid her down and left her alone, laid her down and patted her back, rocked her, bounced her, whatever. Our next door neighbors in Rwanda, the Bowers, could certainly attest to that: at least an hour of screaming every night for probably a week and a half. In Ethiopia, we finally figured her out. I fed her a bottle, then put her on my chest while she fell peacefully to sleep. Then I laid her down on her tummy. What an easy solution. But you have to know.

I didn't much like the getting-to-know-you part. I wanted to skip that part, with all its mystery, confusion, fussing, and aha moments. I wanted to get to the part where I knew how to get her to sleep, what foods she liked, when she was getting overwhelmed, and how she liked to be held. I wanted to know her as well as I know my other kids.

We're finally starting to get there. When Laina is tired or worried, she holds her hands together in front of her, like she's praying. When she doesn't get enough eye contact or attention when she's in the ergo, she makes funny faces and noises until I notice. She likes bananas, but not pears. She doesn't mind anymore if her bottle is room temperature (she used to want it HOT!). She likes playing with the tags on her stuffed animals, and she does not like her car seat. We're getting this baby girl figured out, I am glad and relieved to say.

So, with an idea taken from a fellow Rwanda family, I leave you with the amazing then and now. It's amazing what good nutrition, love, and a family can do for a child. When an orphan gets a family, she blossoms.

Then: When we met Laina, she weighed fourteen pounds.

Now: At her check-up (three weeks home), she was 16 pounds, 15 oz.

Then: Laina could not sit up alone, put weight on her legs, or crawl.

Now: She jumps in the jumpy and stands with help, she sits alone and even pushes herself from her tummy to a sitting position, and she army-crawls wherever she wants to go.

Then: She had absolutely no pincer grip.

Now: She picks up tiny things all the time and puts them in her mouth (!!).

Then: She smiled at everyone.

Now: She hides her face in my chest and plays shy sometimes (this is a good sign! It means she's learning that I'm her mama, and that everyone she meets is not her mama.).

One month in, life is still crazy and we're still adjusting. But we're getting there. We are beyond blessed to have Laina Kate in our family. She's lovely, funny, animated, silly, sweet, and beautiful.

Rwanda Rewind: Day Two and the Weekend, Part II

2011-06-20T22:02:00.002-04:00

That post was just getting way too huge. Go here for Part I. On with the show.

We spent most of Sunday at the orphanage as well.

(the first four families to arrive)

(See her mohawk? When we went to the hospital on Friday, they had shaved the sides of her hair in order to try to put in an iv. Later, the nuns shaved the back, leaving a little fluff of hair on top.)

(from the courtyard)

(I love this picture because it's taken from INSIDE the blue gates, the place we so wanted to be all those long months.)

And made another visit to the hospital (not for Laina). There, we waited outside and played a little soccer with these handsome fellows.

(wow!)

The weekend was long, because we knew that while we had already been gone for five days, we weren't even supposed to be there yet. Meaning for all intents and purposes, we hadn't even started the trip yet. We couldn't wait for Monday, not only so we could welcome the rest of the team to Kigali, but so we could finally start on the mountains of paperwork we had to get through in order to bring Laina home.

Other weekend pictures:

(At Nakumatt, the grocery store/everything store.)

(the road leading to the orphanage)

(Rwanda is beautiful.)

(lovely little restaurant above, with the tree below in the courtyard)

(also the restaurant where Jeremy got his first taste of goat, the dining adventure mentioned at the end of this post.)

So the retelling of the weekend is done! Laina woke up once in the middle of me writing this post, and I went into our room at the beach cottage to hold her. As I sat in the chair with her falling back to sleep on my chest, and the boys sprawled all over the floor, I was able to think for just a minute about why we took this trip. Looking at these pictures and remembering the details brings back a lot of memories--some good and some not-so-good. While it was a beautiful, amazing trip, it was also a very difficult, overwhelming, stressful trip. But we look back on it with awe in what God did, bringing us through the final leg of the journey to bring Laina home, with us and her brothers, where she belongs.

Rwanda Rewind: Day Two and the Weekend, Part I

2011-06-20T20:08:00.018-04:00

We're at the beach this week, spending some time with Jeremy's family, and the unusual (for me) downtime promises some evenings of blogging, to catch up on Rwanda and our lives since. No promises, but that's the plan. (Edited to add: this post turned out to be freakishly long, so I split it in half. See Part II here.)

We met Laina on a Thursday. The next day, two families that we knew through the wonderful world of Rwanda-families-online arrived, also coming early because their children were sick. We were happy and relieved to have the Stengels and the Bowers with us. We really grew to love these two families and feel honored to have shared the trip with them.

Side note: If we thought that sharing the waiting with families made us close (it did!!), traveling together cemented the bond. Our "team" consisted of nine families adopting a total of 11 children. Meeting them, watching them meet their children, getting to know them and their stories, spending time with them, all of this made the trip so special. We love you guys, and miss you!!

Okay, back to the story. We visited Laina in the hospital that morning,

and then went with one of our POAs to the airport to meet the Stengels and the Bowers, and then headed back to the hospital to see Laina again. She was feverish and subdued at first--I think we got there at the tail end of her round of meds, because when she got some more in her, shortly after we got there, she perked up. Even so, she was quiet, serious, and interested only in pulling on my necklace and reaching for Jeremy's glasses.

We also got to see our first gotcha moment in real life, as the Bowers met their son. It was a full, beautiful moment, reflecting all the emotions we were feeling or had just felt, and almost magnified for us because we had far less exhaustion, worry, and stress than we had had the previous day when we met Laina.

We spent sweet moments with our children in the hospital hallways before kissing them goodnight and heading to the orphanage to pick up the Stengels.

(the courtyard)

(Loved these flowers. I have lots of pictures of them. You'll see.)

And then it was time to hit Sole Luna, the best pizza place in Kigali, for some dinner. The men had what became the Man Drink: Fanta Fiesta.

Saturday, another family arrived. Laina was discharged from the hospital and sent back to the orphanage, so we spent part of the afternoon visiting hours with her (4:30-5). We couldn't go in the morning because it was a public action day, where Rwandans clean and fix up their homes and towns. But in the afternoon we got to see her. We got our first smile! She was still a little junky in her lungs, but not feverish and obviously feeling better. It rained while we were in the orphanage, a beautiful, cooling rain that made the colors of the flowers and the red earth almost glow. I loved holding Laina in the doorway and watching the rain.

Beautiful storm skies:

(see the rainbow?)

(I know this one is too dark. I left it in because of the shining wet courtyard behind us.)

(not the first smile, but one of them)

(sweet, sleepy girl)

See Part II for the rest of the story...

Life is...

2011-06-07T20:15:00.006-04:00

...crazy, fun, messy, exhausting, adorable, hilarious, full, disorganized, sweet.

(Cory feeding Laina for the first time)

(at the splash pad--this one is what we call the scrunchy face. It's accompanied by snorting.)

(rolling on her fuzzy blanket from Aunt Haylee)

(Iain made this bridge modeled after the bridge at the property in Tennessee. Only he added a railing, made of crumpled paper, ribbon, and tape. I was impressed.)

(Laina got this princess outfit from a friend from church. The boys insisted we dress her in it so they could dress as knights and "save Princess Laina!" She looks thrilled.)

(May 22, 2011--our first time going to church as a family of five.)

Rwanda Rewind: Why We Left Early and Day One

2011-05-24T16:08:00.007-04:00

Since we've been home with our three children (THREE!) for a few days now, I thought it would be good to catch up a little on this bloggy record-keeping. Because while I don't scrapbook or keep baby books, I do keep this blog, and it serves as a record of our little family's days. So now, going back to the beginning, I will fill in some gaps left by secrecy, lack of time, or poor internet connection. (Don't worry; they won't all be this long.)

The original plan was to leave our home on Thursday, April 28 and go to Jacksonville to spend the night and see Haylee graduate. Then we were going to drive to Orlando, get the boys settled, and fly to DC on Saturday, April 20. After a night spent in DC, we'd hop aboard the long flight over the ocean, landing in Rwanda on May 2 and meeting our dear girl that afternoon.

Plans changed.

Tuesday evening, April 26, we had just stopped at Panda Express for a special treat. I had spent the day before packing, and Tuesday had to take Iain to the doctor for his arm, and then spent the rest of the day trying to get ready to go. Went to the bank to get the cash we needed, but they didn't have the right bills and told me to come back on Wednesday. I never had the chance. As Jeremy ordered our food, I got a call from our POA in Rwanda (power of attorney). She said that Laina was very sick and in the hospital. She'd know more tomorrow and would call back around 2am our time to tell us how she was, and whether or not we should come early.

The world fell apart. I couldn't eat (didn't eat until when, sometime the next day? The day after?), couldn't think. We called a friend to come notarize the last of our documents in case we had to leave early, called close family, headed home. Found that there was a flight we could make if we left at 1:30am that night and drove to TN to get to the airport there. If we could pull off packing and saying goodbye to the boys, scaring up the cash we needed, finishing the documents, and get out the door, we could be with Laina on Thursday. We decided to go for it.

With help from my mom, Jenna and Curtis, and my dear friend Kelly, we pulled it off. I was a wreck, sick with worry over my girl, upset about leaving the boys so fast and without easing them (and me) into it. It was a horrible night. We drove out of the driveway at 1:30am and headed for Tennessee., arriving at 4:30am and boarding the plane to DC at 6. We heard from our POA that she was a little bit better, and we breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

We made it to DC and got on the flight (12? I forget) to head to Ethiopia. After a long night with (again) no sleep, we made it. Africa. The emotions I expected to feel were muted by worry and exhaustion, but we recognized nonetheless the amazing fact that now we were on the same continent as our daughter, and soon we'd be in her homeland. After another layover in ET, the final flight left. We stopped over in Uganda for about half an hour and then we were there. In Rwanda, the land we had dreamed of for almost two years. The circumstances were not what we had expected or hoped, but we were there. And soon we'd see our little girl. How was she? Would she be okay? What was the matter with her? How sick was she? Soon we'd know.

We took a cab to the hotel, Chez Lando, dropped our luggage in the room, and met up with our other POA. He took us straight to the hospital. The moment we had expected, driving down the bumpy dirt road to the blue gates. They swing open and we enter, full of joy and butterflies. We wait for a moment and then we see a woman dressed in a white and blue habit carrying her to us, bringing our daughter to our arms... this was not to be our moment. Instead, we nervously walked the breezeways in the hospital, stopping at a little room. Our POA knocked on the door and opened it. We eagerly, anxiously entered the tiny, stiflingly hot room. Four babies were lying on the beds, and two girls sat with them, talking and smiling at them, caring for them. The girls smiled at us, and I barely registered that as I scanned the room. Where was she? One of the girls moved aside and pointed at a tiny little girl lying on the right-hand bed near the window. Our daughter.

We had decided not to videotape our first meeting as we didn't have any idea how sick she'd be. But it plays in my mind like a movie. We walked toward her. She was on her right side, facing the aisle. She had an iv in her hand. I put my hand on her side and she immediately rolled over onto her back, looking me in the face. We talked to her for a moment, and then I picked her up. She played with my necklace. She didn't smile. She was so, so warm, but sweating, so I knew she wasn't feverish at the moment. I was glad for the iv, thinking that she needed the fluids. Here are the first pictures of us with our Laina, at the time known as Epiphanie.

We talked to Laina for a while and held her. We fed her some pedialite. We loved on the other sick babies and prayed for them. We talked to the girls who cared for them and found out some about Laina's past. We checked on the baby of our friends who would arrive the next day. We kissed Laina goodnight and promised to come check on her tomorrow. And then we left.

Then we headed to the orphanage and saw those blue gates open. We met with one of the nuns and talked about Epiphanie and how she was doing. The sister seemed glad that we were there loving on our girl. It was the absolute right decision, stressful as it was. We needed to be with her and she needed her parents there.

Turns out that Laina had pneumonia. She had had a high fever, was dehydrated, and because she's so small, was going downhill fast. I'm glad we didn't know at the time how bad she had been. The sisters took her to the hospital and by the time we made it there, she was on the mend. Many people in Rwanda prayed for our little girl: the sisters, our POA and his church. Many people in America prayed too. How this baby is loved!

By this time it was late. We stopped for pizza (yum!) at Sola Luna, and then hit the sack and slept for the first time in days. We were in Rwanda. Laina was going to be okay. We had met her, finally, after so many days of waiting, and she was ours. That day, April 28, 2011, I held my daughter in my arms, and then her daddy did the same. The fulfillment of a dream may not have looked the way I expected, a stuffy hospital room instead of a flowering courtyard, the feelings of anxiety and stress instead of excitement and joy, but the dream in my arms was exactly the one I had prayed for. Our daughter. Laina Kate. Thanks be to God.

We're Home!

2011-05-19T20:01:00.003-04:00

The day we have waited for for almost two years is here: we have all three of our children under one roof. This afternoon, we finally made it home! We hugged our boys at the gate (sweet moment of all three together, the boys meeting Laina and loving on her), and then were welcomed by family and friends at baggage claim. Pictures of the airport meeting to come.

This afternoon, the three played together on the rug for a few minutes. Three peas in a pod.

For now, let me just say that Laina is sleeping in her own crib right now. Joy!

Tonight, as I was putting the boys to bed,

Me: It's a good night tonight because I get to put you guys down to sleep, and I haven't done that in a long time.

Cory: And it's a good day because Laina's home. And she's so cute.

True. :)

Homeward Bound!

2011-05-18T10:50:00.002-04:00

This is Kristen, Allie's mom:

Allie, Jeremy, and Laina Kate are at the airport in Ethiopia, waiting to begin their journey home! They will arrive in Atlanta tomorrow (Thurs). We can't wait!!!

Please join us in praying for safe travel and good health.

Praising God for bringing Laina home to us at last!

Home Stretch

2011-05-15T16:59:00.002-04:00

(This is Kristen - Allie's mom - posting this for her)

We are in Ethiopia, working on getting Laina a visa. Our embassy appointment is later this week. Laina had her medical visit on Saturday, and passed her exam. She's doing well. She has gained almost a pound since we met her, and her motor skills are improving!

We'll try to post another update soon...

On To Ethiopia

2011-05-13T22:08:00.002-04:00

Tonight at 1:30am, we leave Rwanda and head for Ethiopia for a week or so. We have to go there to get a medical check for Laina, and also to get her visa. We don"t know how the internet will be, so if you don't hear from us, you know why. We are glad to be taking one step closer to being home.

I Love My Family

2011-05-11T13:32:00.000-04:00

And Aunt Lindy is right...Laina has no idea what she's getting herself into.

Read this post from Aunt Lindy.

To Whom it May Concern...

2011-05-10T07:05:00.002-04:00

Today we finally got that sweet piece of paper that will allow us to keep Laina with us forever! Although she was legally ours when we passed court, we had to have a signed travel letter, called a To Whom, before we could keep her with us at night, and also leave the country with her. Today we got it!!

We still have to finish getting her passport (applied for it yesterday), and have an embassy appointment before we can head to Ethiopia and then HOME! We're so glad to be done with the hard parts of the Rwanda paperwork and so happy that, save one farewell visit, Laina will not have to go back to the orphanage. She's an orphan no more.

Thank you all for your prayers. Yesterday was a long, frustrating, tiring day but today we can't keep from smiling.

Mother's Day and Prayer Requests

2011-05-08T14:26:00.004-04:00

(Make sure you scroll down to the post under this one...PICTURES, finally!! It only let me load two, but I am NOT complaining!)

We had a great day today. Laina was with us from 6:30-5pm, and although she was fussier than usual, we still got some great smiles out of her. We went to church this morning, a great service, although we missed most of the music, unfortunately. Laina slept all morning until we got to church and then was awake through the whole service (and wiggly!), and then right at the moment they said the last "amen" she fell asleep. Thanks a lot, girlie.

This afternoon we went shopping, which was fun. Bartering is very stressful, in my opinion. But there are a lot of cool things to look at and we did buy a few. Laina did great, especially when we bought her a cute little African doll which she loves. :)

Please pray for her with feeding. She's still not taking a bottle well at all, and not eating enough. The formula we have doesn't sit well with her stomach either. We know it's a matter of her adjusting from the food she got in the orphanage to the new stuff, but she's not comfortable, and she's having a rough time.

Tomorrow we have two important things on our to-do list. We are praying to get our travel letter, which will allow us to keep Laina Kate all the time and not have to take her back to the orphanage...ever! So you can pray with us for that, too.

And finally, pray for us and the boys. They are, I think, doing better than I am with this separation. Not fun at all. I miss my fellows.

Funny that four years ago on Mother's Day I found out that I was pregnant with Cory, and on this Mother's Day we decided on a name for our third born. It's a pretty good holiday for me. :)

We love and miss you all!

Introducing...

2011-05-08T06:59:00.008-04:00

It is with great joy and thanksgiving that we introduce you to our daughter, Laina Kate Brannon:

Don't Hate Me

2011-05-07T13:56:00.002-04:00

I have been trying literally all day long to load one single picture, and with no luck. I'll try again before we go to bed, but you may just have to wait to meet Laina. So sorry! She's a cutie. :)

We had a great day today with her--it felt like Christmas. We picked her up at the orphanage at 6:30am and kept her with us until 5 this evening (and putting her back in that crib was the hardest it's been yet). We had a nice morning in the hotel, letting her nap on the bed, giving her a bath, dressing her in cute clothes (the butterfly dress the boys picked out with Aunt Kelsey), a headband, and a bow, feeding her (or trying to!), playing with her. She was happy, entertaining, animated, and talkative. We learned she can roll, push up on her hands when she's on her tummy, and sit if you balance her. She was silly today and we ate it up. We also got to skype with all the grandparents and the boys, so they got to see her in action. The boys made silly noises the whole time, and Laina cooed right back. We can't WAIT to see them all together. They're going to have so much fun!

We had a bit of trouble getting Laina to eat. She doesn't know how to suck, so we had to keep making the hole in the bottle larger so it basically would drip into her mouth. She chews on the nipple, but she won't suck on it. And she likes that formula hot! (All the babies do.) But after some messy trial and error, we got her to eat at least some. Better luck tomorrow.

We get to pick her up early again tomorrow morning and go to church with her for the first time. Can't wait!

We Passed Court!

2011-05-06T15:18:00.002-04:00

We legally and officially have three children now! Check back tomorrow for some PICTURES!!! For now, we're headed to bed. We leave very early tomorrow to go pick up Laina and have her with us all day.

Hooray!!!

Rwanda, Day Nine

2011-05-06T05:12:00.001-04:00

I'm losing track of the days now. Have we really been here nine days? Wow.

Yesterday we attended court. Today at 2pm, we'll find out if we passed (there's really no reason for us not to pass). We didn't get to see Laina yesterday, and today I have a bit of a stomach bug, so I can't see her again (don't want to risk making the babies sick!). But Jeremy is there with her now, hopefully taking loads of pictures for me.

Yesterday afternoon, we went to the Genocide Memorial. As you could guess, it's one of those places that you leave feeling so heavy and sad. I had read several books on the genocide, but seeing the pictures and hearing the stories of those who had survived, and especially seeing clothing that they had recovered from mass graves--Jesus, have mercy. The memorial was really well done, giving a clear history of what happened, and especially of the events leading up to the genocide. It's hard to imagine that genocide can happen, but when you read and see all of the propaganda, political stuff, historical aspects, etc, you realize how it can. And it does. Part of the purpose of this memorial is to educate people on what leads to genocide so it will never happen again in any country. I applaud the efforts.

The best part of that whole experience was the room dedicated to heros of the genocide. People, ordinary people, who would not be persuaded to evil but instead risked their lives--and sometimes lost them--to hide people, to fight, to help people escape. Some of the men fought the genocidaires with rocks--when they were being shot at with guns. Women hid strangers under their beds. Families dug trenches disguised as gardens and hid people there, feeding them and caring for them for weeks. The point made by the audio that accompanied the tour was that those people showed that even in times of genocide, people have a choice. There is always a choice to do right, even if it costs us our lives.

Outside of the memorial, there are mass graves where remains of victims are being interred still today. And there are gardens. Beautiful rose gardens, where each individual rose represents a victim, gardens that represent ancient peaceful Rwanda, Rwanda torn apart, and Rwanda reconciled, a forest of remembering, and a fire that burns for the 100 days of remembering, from April 6-July, the dates of the genocide. It was beautiful and full of hope and new life in the midst of horror and death.

I am so thankful to be here, to be seeing at least a little bit of Laina's homeland. I hope that when she's older, we can all come back and get to know this place. It's beautiful, and that's just what I'm seeing from the bus as we drive from one appointment to another.

Please pray for: health for all of us, an easy time passing court, and that we'd get our travel letters very quickly. Once we have those, we can keep Laina with us all the time--and show pictures! And pray for the boys as they're missing us (and we are missing them!).

Thanks, friends. And by the way, may I remind you that comments=love? :)

Rwanda, Day Six

2011-05-04T14:56:00.003-04:00

It was a good day today! A slow day, which was nice. We didn't have paperwork to complete, so we got to see Laina twice. She was much more animated than she has been, so I think she's feeling healthier and more comfortable around us. We got a tour of the orphanage and let me just say that those sisters are amazing. I have nothing but respect for them. And let me also say that if you ever have thought about adopting, please do it. Those children need families, and they want families. Especially the older ones who know what they're missing. They ask about it. Breaks my heart.

The best moment of my day was on our second visit, when the nuns said we could go into the baby room to get our children. I walked over to Laina's crib and leaned over the side. She was lying on her back, and when she saw me, she smiled! And then she started kicking her feet. Melt! The hardest part was leaving her there yet again.

And that brings me to our prayer request for the night. Tomorrow morning at the crack of early, we have court. Pray that we pass! Then we'll be one step closer to keeping her with us forever. Please also pray for my health (been feeling a bit sick), and for our friends who are struggling through some issues with their adoption.

Tomorrow is another day, another step closer to bringing Laina home and all of us being together at last.

Rwanda, Day Four

2011-05-01T12:08:00.005-04:00

Today, we got to spend a lot of time with Laina--about four hours. She is still as sweet as ever. We got a few more grins today, and a lot of snuggles. We've learned more about her today. She can't sit up by herself, but she's close. She is very curious and tactile; she loves to touch, hold, fiddle with, scratch, and examine everything she can reach. Jeremy's glasses and my necklace are the favorites, but she has also played with our hands, her dress, her rattle, a book, the snaps on my shirt--really, anything.

She has huge eyes and she stares right at our faces a lot. She also has a kind of silly smirk she wears when something is mildly entertaining but doesn't deserve her full grin. (Oh, but that grin is worth the work!) She is one intense little girl!

It seems like sleep is one of her coping mechanisms. She has fallen asleep almost every time we've seen her. On our second visit today, she fell asleep about half an hour in and stayed that way until we left.

I think we'll need to help Laina control her levels of stimulation until she learns how to cope. That will mean a lot of time for her in the baby carrier, sheltered from too much noise and change. But I don't mind. I've been waiting to use that baby carrier for a long time. :)

Rwanda is beautiful. It has rained the past two afternoons, which makes it crisp and cool. I'm loving the storm clouds and the mountains and trees. I wish we could have the boys here to see it all. I sure miss them.

Tomorrow we start on paperwork. Please pray that our whole group will get through it all fast and easily. We want those babies home!

Well, I meant to post pictures, and to tell you about Jeremy's dining adventure, but it will have to wait. Pictures aren't loading very well, and we're tired! Goodnight all.

Day Three in Rwanda

2011-04-30T17:42:00.002-04:00

Best moment of the day?

Laina smiled.

We're in Rwanda!!

2011-04-29T14:18:00.003-04:00

So things never go quite as you plan. We can share more details later, but the gist of the story is that we made the decision to come to Rwanda several days early. With help from family and friends, we hopped a plane and now we are, unbelievably, in the Land of a Thousand Hills.

That's the good news.

More good news? We have a name for our baby girl. Her name is Laina (pronounced Lay-nuh). Laina means bright light. Middle name to come.

But the best news? Yesterday we got to meet our daughter for the first time. It was sweet and amazing and Laina is wonderful. I wish we could go into details about that first meeting--sometime I will but for now, I will just tell you that we spent hours holding and loving on her. It was surreal and precious.

(from Laina's orphanage, soon to be her former orphanage)

Pray for Laina's health, and for us as we begin the task of getting all the paperwork in order to bring her home. We are not yet allowed to take her with us, and leaving her is rough. We also cannot post pictures until she is legally ours. Thank you all for your prayers.

We are missing our boys like crazy and loving our girl. Can't wait until all five of us are together again. But for now, we are soaking in Rwanda and every precious second we get to spend with Laina.

Baby Sister's Room!

2011-04-25T15:14:00.005-04:00

Thanks to some help from Liz, Kelsey, Jenna, and Lindy, the nursery is ready. I love it. It's peaceful and fun, whimsical and bright, girly and sweet. Ready for a look?

When you walk into the room, here's what you see:

This is the glider I rocked my boys in (and fell asleep in many nights). Can't wait to hold my little girl in it too! There's a butterfly mobile over it that is so fun.

(shelf: garage sale, we painted it white; two dolls on the shelf: from Grammy; giraffe made by me months ago; pink dogwood blossom painting I did at a sips-n-strokes)

I love this arrangement over the crib. Kelsey and I painted the canvases (we just painted a solid color, traced images onto them and painted the silhouettes brown) and we arranged it based on a Pottery Barn picture. The canvases say faith, hope, love, and grace.

Love this place! I just walk into it all the time and dream of my sweet little baby girl. Soon!!

Easter, 2011

2011-04-25T09:25:00.005-04:00

Well, it wasn't the most meditative Easter we've ever had, but it certainly was one full of meaning and rejoicing. In church I was struck (again) by the cost Jesus paid to adopt us, and by His sheer goodness in saving us, fighting for us, and saying YES to us with this baby girl. During the wait, I found Him to be good and trustworthy, faithful and loving. Now during the rejoicing, I delight all the more in Him, more than I would have without the darkness.

After church, I took the obligatory Easter pictures (see former years here). This will be our last year taking them with only two kids! I stumbled upon a (genius!) scheme for coaxing smiles out of my fellows. They have been very into hearing stories lately, so I sat down on their level, told them to keep looking at the camera, and told them one of their favorites (Iain and Cory have various super-powers. They go to Sonic to get their mama a coke. They spill it on the way home and have to go back for more. Sometimes they spill ice cream too, and lick it up off the ground. Yes, these are the masterpieces I'm talking about. And every time when I finish a Sonic/Super-power story, Cory says, "That's the best story ever, Mama!"). And when they laughed at my wit (heh), I snapped away. Sometimes I had them yell parts of the story back ("Ice cream!!"). It was a relaxing and fun way to take pictures, for all involved. :)

And then we were joined in our back yard for a fun, no-stress (read: KFC) Easter dinner, by family and by friends who count as family. It was a great way to end the Holy Week, and to take a moment to breathe before this week's craziness commences.

Check back later today for pictures of the nursery!!

The Plan and the Cost

2011-04-22T07:30:00.003-04:00

Today is Good Friday, the day that is, for Christians, overflowing solemn thanksgiving, with awe and humility. Our sins were paid for this day, but the cost was our Savior's life.

Throughout this adoption, we have prayed for it to go quickly, not for our own sake, but for the sake of our daughter who waits every day for a family, a home. As the time stretched on and on, it seemed as though our prayers were not being answered. Indeed they weren't answered in the way we wanted. What we asked for was not a bad thing; why didn't God answer us?

On Monday, our small group was studying the Triumphal Entry of Jesus, the day we call Palm Sunday when the people recognized Jesus as King and shouted, "Hosanna!" "Save us!" We talked about how many of those Jews believed that Jesus was a political king, the one who would save them from the heavy hand of the Romans. They were being treated unjustly and they cried out to God for help. They believed that Jesus was their answer.

And of course He was. They were just asking the wrong question.

While the Jews were crying out for political salvation, Jesus was riding toward the cross, to purchase a much bigger salvation that would last eternally and be just as powerful today, 2000 years later, as it was on Palm Sunday. The people who cried hosanna were asking God to deliver them from the oppression they felt, and that was a good thing to ask for. When it appeared that He didn't answer, that He allowed their Hope to be killed a few days later, to them it must have seemed like unanswered prayer, like defeat. If they could have seen the whole thing, they would have known that the freedom Jesus bought on Good Friday is galaxies beyond the political freedom for which they yearned.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

We see such a tiny piece of the puzzle at any given time. We ask, we beg, we plead with God to answer, to rescue, we ask for good and righteous things, and sometimes He seems silent. May we learn from the people who littered the ground with their coats and cried out for salvation. May we see that He is always working, always moving, always answering. Until He opens our eyes, we may not see the bigger picture, the reason our prayers (prayers for good things!) seem to fail. He has a master plan, and it is bigger than the universe, bigger than all we could ask or think (Eph 3:20-21).

And if the plan is so much bigger than we can think to ask for, the cost is also so much higher. The cost of freedom from the Romans would have been a revolution, and people would have died--that is a great cost. The cost of our adoption is emotionally and financially very high. But the price paid for the salvation of the world was the death of the Son of God--the highest cost that could possibly be paid. And yet today we both mourn and celebrate the fact that He paid it. The cost of our adoption as sons and daughters of God is as much higher than that of our adoption as His thoughts are higher than ours. Today we remember the price.

Jesus rode into Jerusalem with cries of hosanna ringing in His ears. He knew the salvation He would bring was not what they were seeking; He knew it was what they really needed. He provided the ultimate salvation that they did not even know to ask for. When we prayed for our adoption, He saw the big picture, the plan that we still do not understand but trust is right. Today when we pray, we know that we see through a darkened glass and He sees the crystal clear reality, which one day He will show to us (1 Cor 13:12). And His willingness to pay the highest cost for us shows us the depth of His love and care for us. May we never forget that we have been given such a great salvation. Thank You, Jesus that Your plan is bigger, that the cost You paid is higher, and that Your love for us is greater.

Psalm 78

2011-04-20T08:21:00.003-04:00

For me, this adoption journey has been nothing if not spiritually rich, fraught with glimpses of Him seen more clearly through the lens of suffering and waiting. The lessons continue.

Today I was reading Psalm 78, which is a command to tell the coming generations about the deeds of the Lord. (Noel Piper talks a lot about this passage in her book on traditions). I love this chapter because I love the idea of remembering--something God commands us over and over again to do--and telling our children what He has done.

Further along in the passage, though, we read an account of what God did in protecting the Israelites, setting them free from the Egyptians, bringing them through the Red Sea, and providing for them in the wilderness. And then at one point, here is how they react to a trial that comes upon them:

They tested God in their heart

by demanding the food they craved.

They spoke against God, saying,

'Can God spread a table in the wilderness?

He struck the rock so that water gushed out

and streams overflowed.

Can He also give bread

or provide meat for His people?'

(Ps 78:18-20)

In other words, He provided what we needed before, but can He really do it again? Note that what they wanted wasn't bad: food. God wanted to provide it for them, and He did, even in spite of His anger and their lack of faith ("...they did not believe in God and did not trust His saving power..." vs 22).

So then, He gave them food, and while it was still in their mouths, He struck some of them down. His anger was kindled against them. But where His justice goes, His mercy often follows:

Yet He, being compassionate,

atoned for their iniquity

and did not destroy them;

He restrained His anger often

and did not stir up all His wrath.

He remembered that they were but flesh,

a wind that passes and comes not again...

...They did not remember His power

or the day when He redeemed them from the foe...

(Ps 78:38-39, 42)

All this relates so exactly to this adoption journey. How many times has He shown Himself strong for us? How many times has He provided? How many times has He fought for us? As we prepare to leave for a trip full of many unknowns, He goes before us and will be with us. When the times come on this trip when we are tempted to doubt that He will do again what He has done before, may we remember this. And when we are home with our daughter and beginning our life as a family of five,

We will not hide them from [our] children,

but tell to the coming generation

the glorious deeds of the LORD, and His might,

and the wonders He has done...

...so that they should set their hope in God.

(Ps 78:4, 7a)

Iain, Cory, and Baby Girl, we will tell you what He has done. We wille always remember His works and never doubt that He can again spread a table in the wilderness. His might and power know no end, and He is leading us, carrying us, feeding us, fighting for us, rescuing us. He is strong, just, able, good, and full of mercy. You will hear the stories, and you will live them with us, so that your hope will be forever in God.

Getting Ready

2011-04-18T18:04:00.003-04:00

Baby girl, here we come! Twelve days until travel. Well, 11 really, since we're making a stop at Haylee's graduation before heading to Orlando and flying out the next day. Gosh--what am I doing blogging?!

Here's Iain's first family portrait including Baby Sister. That's her, the cute little one floating in the sky. Under her is Cory with the brown hair, and next to him, blonde Iain. And the tall one? Nona. :)

I have a whole extra table set up right now solely for adoption-related paperwork.

Piles of stuff to pack:

And I'm totally stealing this from Laura: the best Fed Ex I've ever sent:

And We Are Filled With JOY!

2011-04-15T09:46:00.004-04:00

When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion,

we were like men who dreamed.

Our mouths were filled with laughter,

our tongues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

"The Lord has done great things for them."

The Lord has done great things for us,

And we are filled with joy.

(Ps 126:1-3)

Yesterday, we saw our daughter's sweet face. Yes, you read that right. WE GOT OUR REFERRAL!!! In a perfect moment, all four of us sat on the couch and opened it together, and fell in love. She's beautiful. She's tiny. She has the biggest brown eyes you've ever seen. She is a good and perfect gift from our Father.

When I saw her picture, I recognized her. Not as though I had seen her before. I dreamed of plenty of faces, but none of them hers. But I knew when I saw her that she was ours, that she is just the one God has chosen for us. I really recognized that sweet little girl, and it was amazing. I don't think any of us have stopped grinning.

We will be meeting our daughter in a few weeks (details to come!!), and be home with her sometime in May. May!!!

The boys are enamored with their sister. Iain, after grinning and saying it's time to leave and go get her, said seriously, "I like the dress. Do we get to keep the dress, too?" Cory said, "I think we should name her Beautiful Baby Sister," to which Iain replied, "I don't think she'd like that name forever." And then this morning, the boys went over to the computer (not knowing I was watching) and looked at her picture again. Iain said, "Isn't she just the sweetest little cucumber?" :)

Baby girl, we love you and we are so happy to have you. We'll see you soon!!

Cory's Dinnertime Prayer Tonight

2011-04-10T17:49:00.001-04:00

Dear Jesus, please make all the children not get sick or hurt and please let them not get anything that will hurt them, and please let nobody get ate-en by lions and please let no ducks get ate-en by wolves and please make them into special ducks that don't get ate-en by wolves. In Jesus' name, amen.

In Which Cory Becomes a Taxidermist

2011-04-01T09:22:00.002-04:00

In the car, Cory was silent for a long time, thinking. Then,

Cory: Mama, how do you get fur?

Me: (thinking he means for a craft) Well, you can get pretend fur at Jo-Ann's. And some animals have fur.

Cory: (silent for a few more minutes) What is the slowest animal with fur?

Me: Umm, a possum?

Cory: Are they really slow?

Me: Well, how about a sloth?

Cory: Are they really slow?

Me: Yes, they are really slow.

Cory: (thinks for a few more minutes) We're gonna need a knife.

A civics lesson, by the boys:

Iain: Mama, this music sounds presidential. (He was right! It did!)

Me: Who is the president?

Cory: Santa Claus!

Me: What is the president's job?

Iain: He talks even more than me. That's his job.

Cory: Yeah, he's a talker.

Me: What does he talk about?

Iain: Things I don't even know.

Cory: Mama, don't call me Cory Daniel.

Me: Why not?

Cory: Because when you call me that name when I'm eating breaf-kast, I feel like I'm eating a light bulb, burning hot.

Me: Oh.

Me: Do you want the blue sunglasses, Cory?

Cory: No. Spear carriers do not wear blue sunglasses.

(Corrin means spear carrier)

December 26, 2011

2011-04-01T07:35:00.008-04:00

As promised, the day after Christmas:

My sister Kelsey's birthday is Dec 26. She is afraid of pirates. So, like any loving family would, we dressed up like pirates and threw her a pirate-themed surprise party, complete with hats, eye patches, and eyeliner moustaches. Good thing she isn't afraid of snakes or spiders. That would not have been pleasant.

It was so cold and windy that we ate fast and went inside to walk the plank and play a pirate trivia game. :)

Later that evening, we headed to Jeremy's aunt Gloria's house to visit her and Yaya. They read books, we ate dinner, and they fell asleep in the car on the way home. Busy day.

Christmas 2010

2011-03-30T19:11:00.010-04:00

Yes, this is three months late. Trying to catch up here.

Decorating the tree at our house:

We spent Christmas this year at Nona's house--one of the boys' favorite places on earth! And no Schweizer holiday would be complete without a rousing game of football (in which I had visions of being Matt Saracen on Friday Night Lights, and yes, I did throw the winning touchdown. Well, I tossed it and someone--lucky for me, someone on my team--caught it. Still.).

Anyway. It was Iain's first time playing and he was on fire! His job was to rush the QB, and with Aunt Kelsey's help, he did quite well. And you never did see a boy more proud to play with the big people, or more into the game. Maybe he'll be the next Saracen. :) Look at him go!

Meanwhile, Cory was doing this:

Christmas Eve. A lit Christmas tree with real candles. Dinner. Singing. Playing music. Opening the "name gifts." Sleepy Cory.

Late Christmas Eve night: setting up the boys' plasma cars, and yes, riding them around the house at midnight. The tree and man, that is a lot of presents even for all the families that would be there the next day!

Christmas morning: plasma cars and other fun toys:

Cory snuggling with his new Cars blanket on his new moose pillow. :)

A few days later, Grammy and Papa came to have Christmas with us, and Uncle Phil stopped by, too.

But just wait until you hear about what happened the day after Christmas. Doesn't that make you want to come back for more?

Good Read

2011-03-29T08:02:00.001-04:00

I love this. New beginnings, story re-writes. Beautiful.

To Nona

2011-03-25T11:06:00.003-04:00

Dear Nona,

And the outtakes:

(Iain and Cory's signs sport balloons and robots.)

Hamsters and Movie Night

2011-03-04T18:04:00.005-05:00

Cory asked me today why mamas and daddies aren't called "hamsters." I didn't know the answer to that one.

(Cory reading to Posey. Love this picture.)

We've started a new family tradition: Friday nights are movie nights at our house. The boys and I started this one night when Jeremy was out of town and I was in need of a break. We ate dinner on the living room floor and watched a movie until the boys' bedtime. It was so much fun we've kept it up, now watching movies on Jeremy's huge computer. Gotta love Netflix. So far, we've watched:

Mary Poppins

Free Willy (Cory's favorite so far)

Misty (Iain's favorite so far)

Muppets from Space

The Incredible Mr. Limpet

Fun times.

The One About the Lava Juice

2011-02-22T18:45:00.005-05:00

It's been almost a month since I last posted. I've been writing like a fiend the whole time, but it's been journalling, thinking on "paper," stuff like that. Not really masterpieces for the whole wide world at this point.

It's been a hard few months.

But the boys are as adorable, impish, and funny as ever, and they are the bright spot (and sometimes the hard part) of my day. I am treasuring the moments with them these days, aware of how fast they are growing and longing to remember every second, every little funny phrase, the feel of their hands in mine, the sound of Cory's cute little voice, and Iain's leprechaun dance. I am so blessed to be their mama.

And they have been so darn funny lately.

--Today, in the car, Iain piped up with this: I thought of a new rule, Mama.

Me: What's that?

Iain: Stay out of the way of steam rollers. Can that be our new rule? And we can make sure to remember it?

--Iain to Aunt Jenna: Iains don't like cucumbers. I don't know why. They just don't.

--And then there was the whispered conversation between the boys tonight at dinner. The adults at the table got very quiet to listen in. The boys were leaning toward each other and whispering in each other's ears throughout the whole conversation. Imagine the cute little whispered voices as you read...

Iain: This summer, we should learn how to ride a pony.

Cory: Actually, I already know how to ride a pony. But you don't.

Iain: Well, a horse would be better.

Cory: But we don't have a horse.

Iain: I know that.

Cory. Pretend you're mad. Don't smile.

Iain: (trying and failing) I can't.

--Jenna and Curtis kept the boys for us while we went on a date a few nights ago. They reported this conversation back to us.

Jenna: Iain, do you want some guava juice?

Iain: (horrified expression)

Jenna: It's good. It's got mango in it. Uncle Curtis is drinking it.

Iain: (tentatively) Okay. Is it really from volcanoes?

Jenna: (laughing, realizing he thought she said lava juice, and he has a fear of volcanoes)

Cory: (looking at the carton and brilliantly realizing that lava doesn't start with g) This is the other kind of lava juice.

Iain: (to me the next morning) Did you know that sometimes g says llllll?

--Iain just got out of the bath.

Me: Hi buddy.

Iain: Look Mom! It's Iain!

--Because we have to renew our home study (arg), I took the boys to the pediatrician to get updated physicals. This was a new pediatrician (we used our Florida one last time because we had just moved here), and I was answering his questions about their developmental, sleeping, eating, and tv-watching habits, and feeling pretty good about my parenting. Then Iain interrupted me.

Iain: I only like to eat junk food. I love candy and chips. Junk food is what I like.

Me: (blushing) I promise, I don't feed him junk food all the time!

The pediatrician: Mmm-hmmm.

--On a walk:

Iain: Look! Broken pieces of sidewalk!

(Both boys stoop to examine the treasure. Both pick up a piece. Cory goes back for more.)

Me: You can each choose one piece to take with us.

Cory: (holding one in each hand) But this one is for the baby sister!

Me: (melting) Okay, we can take that one, too.

Cory: Now all the children have one.

I love my kids. All three of them.

Challenges

2011-01-27T15:12:00.002-05:00

If you are waiting, read this.

My favorite part:

"The reality of waiting is that it's an expression of God's goodness not empirical evidence against it. He is wise and loving. His timing is always right, and his focus isn't so much on what you will experience and enjoy, but on what you will become. He is committed to using every tool at his disposal to rescue you from yourself and to shape you into the likeness of his Son. The fact is that waiting is one of his primary shaping tools."

DTR One Year

2011-01-25T14:01:00.003-05:00

Today is the one year anniversary of when our dossier--that big important stack of papers holding our hopes and dreams for a daughter--was "logged in" in Rwanda. DTR: dossier to Rwanda.

It's been a year.

I don't know what to say. It's been a long road, and we're not done yet. I hope we're close. We actually have more hope now than we have in months that we're moving closer. It's good. It's hard. It's painful. It's worth it.

C.S. Lewis said, "What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step."

What saves us is to wait a day. Then another day. And to cling to the hope that He who called us is faithful, that He has been faithful every single day of this year of waiting, and that He will not change.